It Makes A Difference

You may or may not know the burden that comes with being a complete word nerd. Notice I did not say word snob - this is because my command (or lack thereof) of the English language prohibits my being an actual snob. I'm more a fan of the language, an observer. Lucky for me, the weight of wordiness is lessened by way of knowing one or two others who come across the same sad occurrences and are kind enough to share them. Here now, are a collection of... how to put it kindly... misuses? All are, I assure you, too good to make up.

• crap chute - crap shoot: These are not interchangeable. I know to the ear they're the same but if you are going to put it in writing you need to think it through.

• incontinence - inconvenience: When you've done something that causes me more work than necessary I hope that it won't require you to apologize for any incontinence. No really, I mean it.

• encryption - inscription: When creating award plaques it's best to use an inscription, the other could make reading them difficult.

• oblivious - obvious: Do I really have to explain this one?

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Posted somewhere on the interwebs:

". . . all those toys I'd urned for . . . "

Yearned for? Earned for? 

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Seen during an instant message conversation:

"do one to others..."

Kind of loses it's intended meaning, doesn't it.

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And finally, one that made me literally LOL. I'll give you some back story...

I was looking for an address of a company branch location but couldn't find anything in our internal system or on hard copy rosters. I was enlightened by way of the message below what the problem was, apparently it has something to do with chickens. And I quote...

"It does not show on our rooster"

I don't even know what to say to that.